How to Get Away, Affectionately Speaking.

One of the things I struggle with is how I quickly develop affection for people who are close to me. Proximity breeds attraction. Well, in my case, same-sex proximity mostly does.
Over the years, I have realized that immediate attraction to men isn’t my biggest worry. Sometimes, I’d fuss about a crush I had on a cute guy and then I would be over it after a while.
What I have not understood is why even the people I wouldn’t in the least be drawn to at first glance can become the center of my attraction after I draw close to them.
It could be the least attractive person whom I didn’t consider a threat to my sexual temptations. But let them live with me for a month, let me see the good qualities of their personalities, and suddenly, I find them quite attractive.
Recently, I had to share a room with a brother whom I have never thought I liked physically. As time went on, I started noticing his physical qualities in a way that bothered me. His slender body, his gentle manners, even his body scent. After a while, I began having desire for him. Don’t judge me, okay? I can’t explain it.
One morning, when I woke up next to him — we shared the same bed — I couldn’t concentrate to do my quiet time as he laid by me, his lean and toned naked chest looking at me sumptuously. When did I begin to see him as a toned pack of delight to watch?
I started praying. I prayed earnestly that God would help me get my thoughts off this tangent because there was no way my mind was going to focus on reading my Bible that morning with this artwork lying next to me.
Then I felt the Lord say, “move away”. It was like a light bulb had lit up in my head. Move away! Yes! That was the solution. Why didn’t I think about that? Because desire and temptation want you to stay and try something and see if you’d fall. It robs you of sense sometimes. But thank God for wisdom to flee.
So, I did. I left and went to the living room to do my Bible reading and personal devotion. It is amazing how my escape brought great relief. A few moments before then, I was suffocating with resistance.
I think it is natural to develop affection for the people who are closer to you after a while. Maybe it doesn’t work like that for everyone. It is not a bad thing in itself, but it could lead to unwanted desires and feelings. I believe God sees this too. Like He saw mine and helped me find an escape.
The first thing this experience taught me was to pray to God about the things and people that tempt me. We don’t have to court our temptation by ourselves— they will burn us eventually.
The second thing was to take 1 Corinthians 6:18 literally. Flee! Put distance between you and what tempts you sexually. It works! Ask Joseph. When proximity is against you, let distance be your weapon. It can save you.