I want to tell you something I have not learned how to say cleanly.
Not because I was hiding. Though I was.
Not because I was ashamed. Though sometimes I was that too.
Mostly because every version I tried sounded false.
Then, out of nowhere, our eyes met and then he winked at me. Wait, dude, what was that? Why would you wink at me? Do I look attractive to you? Are you trying to hit on me? What does that even mean? Would you take my number? Are you going to text me and ask that we hang out or something? Erm…maybe I’d like that. Oh no! That’s not going to happen ever. I’m not going to have a one-night or one-day or one-hour stand with you.